New Year: I don’t want to be insecure anymore.

To be insecure is one of the most painful ways of being because it robs you of your sense of self. Like a sufferer of eating disorders you see yourself through a distorted lens. Instead of believing the truth that God created you just as you are – no mistakes. That you are perfect, have a purpose and positioned to be powerful in the world, you choose to listen to satan the chief liar you calls you insignificant. A chapter in the Bible that really helped me overcome my inferiority complex was Psalm 139.

Psalm 139

You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

Let’s break this chapter down:

You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

Because God has searched you and decided to love you anyway – why do you hate and mistreat yourself. It is all too easy to compare ourselves to other people and think of ways we could be better. The truth of the matter is that if God wanted us to be them – He would have made us differently. The world (media, friends, sometimes family) can often get us thinking about all that we do not have, start focusing on what you have. We have to make a conscious decision to appreciate all we have. To fall abundantly in love with ourselves. You were uniquely created! I had a picture on my mirror with a version of that psalm on my mirror, where I saw it every day. I spoke it to myself daily, and before I knew it, I believed it. I now wake up and can honestly say I am happy God made me. I am not where I want to be, but I am on my way. I am no longer in the self hating rut. Today you need to make a decision to come out of it too. I believe you can do it.

There is a guide for that journey in my book ‘Beauty Full’. I share my experiences so you know you are not alone in your thoughts. Get it here:http://www.amazon.co.uk/Beauty-Full-Nissi-Mutale-ebook/dp/B009TOB9LC

Nissi x

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About Plantain Periodicals

Hello! Welcome to the Plantain Periodicals blogs. The name stems from the kitchen moments I had with my friends at university cooking plantain and planning our lives together. I have used this space as a window into my mind and the way I make sense of all my experiences through writing.This is where I share those conversations and moments that happen inside my head as a young woman growing up in 21st century London. Hopefully you'll be entertained and also learn a thing or two. My main blog ad: www.nissiknows.wordpress.com My literature blog: www.plantainperiodicals.wordpress.com NMx
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2 Responses to New Year: I don’t want to be insecure anymore.

  1. Can’t wait for the continuation. Is there a continuation ? Happy New Year Nissi.

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