Who are you?… The role of family in forming our identities.

“I think you travel to search and you come back home to find yourself there.” – Chimanada Ngozi Adichie

One of the most important questions we ask ourselves is: Who am I? I read the quote above and thought about how much I had been shaped by my family. Be it bad or good, the experiences I have had in my home, through my mum and dad, siblings, aunts uncles, grandma, granddad…all of them have a hand in who I am. I get that some of the experiences we have, we would rather forget. Or better still, that ‘I will never by like xxxxx’. True. You may never be like them. But that refusal to be them has made you who you are, so in that sense they have still had a hand in who you who are today.

I personally find individual histories so interesting. I love watching and reading biographies or psychological dramas because I like finding out what makes someone the way they are. It is such a kick for my imagination. The way psychologists, psychoanalysts and counsellors, even ordinary every day people not trained in reading people, can meet someone and correctly come to conclusions about why they behave the way they do.  Interestingly, I also start searching to see if I can make the connection between what I see or hear on TV, in the biography or other people’s testimonies to see if I can see any of what they say in my own life.

Is that strange?…I hope note! Admittedly, I am a bit melodramatic. Self confessed and affirmed by others, hypochondriac. But I do believe that looking at ourselves and the way situations and people in our lives have affected us is a healthy way of ensuring we become the people we want to. By having that awareness of what makes us who we are, it does several positive things:

  1. We know who we are and become confident in that
  2. Better chance of emotional stability because we know what makes us angry/ upset so can better prepare for when we are confronted by these situations
  3. We know what we are not so happy with about ourselves and can work on developing better habits/ way of being

I am sure the list could go on.

I guess the point I wanted to make with this blog is, we often go out to search for who we are. We run away from painful situations and do not want to face our own painful truths. To get way for a while is healthy. However to completely hide from what makes us who we are, is not. As much as we may not like it, home is where the heart is. You know where home is for you…start there if you are struggling to figure out who you are.

Nissi x

 

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About Plantain Periodicals

Hello! Welcome to the Plantain Periodicals blogs. The name stems from the kitchen moments I had with my friends at university cooking plantain and planning our lives together. I have used this space as a window into my mind and the way I make sense of all my experiences through writing.This is where I share those conversations and moments that happen inside my head as a young woman growing up in 21st century London. Hopefully you'll be entertained and also learn a thing or two. My main blog ad: www.nissiknows.wordpress.com My literature blog: www.plantainperiodicals.wordpress.com NMx
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