Over the last couple of weeks I have taken on writing and leading workshops full time. It has been an exciting, scary yet fulfilling journey and the way God has opened doors is amazing. It is strange how He seems to constantly amaze me! Despite all the great things happening I have found that my mind and the way I view things is my biggest obstacle. The naysayers and other people’s disapproval I have learned to take with a pinch of salt but my own negative thoughts and unbelief are my own worst enemies at the moment. Thankfully I am aware of the destructive thoughts and when I start thinking fearfully and contracting under a burden of worries, I have to remind myself about how far I have come. I remember how bad it felt to be doing a job that I did not want to do and how hard I worked to come out of that frustrating situation. I also think about the many small miracles and miraculous doors that God has opened. When I have prayed and taken time to meditate on the Word I find that I move from fear to faith and something within me trusts that since God has brought me thus far, He is unlikely to leave me now.
A question a lot of people often ask me about my references to God’s leading is: How do I know that it is Him. There is no set way to hear God’s voice. The only way I can describe it is: the more time I spend in quiet time, shutting out the confusion and noise of the world, focusing on the words I read in the Bible or the words of a worship song, there are certain things that come to mind and I know that it is more than me. It is a stronger conviction. I spent a long time trying to explain away and delay these convictions previously and have found myself in a frustrated and vexed place. I have had to learn to distinguish my own good ideas from God ideas and submit myself to the will and prompting of the Holy Spirirt.
An important part of this journey has been un – learning the almost reflex negative thought pattern. I got so used to explaining why I could not do something or looking at the obstacles that I forgot how Big and Awesome God is. I now know that when I am taking a step of faith it is imperative that I focus on God. When I am wrapped in the arms of His Word and empowered by the Holy Spirit there is no room for doubt. I am able to take new territory in my stride and achieve way beyond I could have done should I have been consumed by own doubts. Often we can keep ourselves bound in situations we hate because we are too scared to take a step. Just one step. That step is to take our eyes of ourselves and focus on God.
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