I am very fortunate because from a young age I have known real love. I never knew at the time that I always had it but as I’ve grown and been through the bumps and curves we have come to know as life, I now believe that I have had the blessing of experiencing real love. Many people do a lot of weird and wonderful, cruel and cunning things to feel loved but I have not had to. It is rare for me to feel well and truly alone and I always have somewhere to go no matter what is happening in my life. When I am at my highest point, I have somewhere to go and celebrate and when I am at my lowest, I have somewhere to go and vent, shout and see that things are not as bad as I think they are and will get better. The person I am talking about is God and by reading the Bible, praying and spending time just thinking about the words, I have grown in my relationship with Him.
The best way I can describe it is, you know when you have a favourite musician, artists and authors whom you have managed to collect all their releases, biographies and follow their stories in the press. The more you do this the more you feel you know the person. This is how my relationship with God is but to a higher level because I believe that my time of prayer is not me simply talking to Him. It is also a time for me to listen. I do not hear Him speak to me in a loud and roaring voice. Instead it is in the quietness of my soul that I feel. Words that I read in the Bible that made no sense to me suddenly come to light. Situations that seem impossible suddenly fall into place and a relationship I never thought could be developed or repaired suddenly is. I feel and see that the stuff that happens in my life is way beyond what I can achieve alone and I know that He is there.
When I am hurting or confused I feel His presence most. The comfort and clarity that I receive is amazing. I love the fact that no matter how I am feeling or how bratty I am behaving, He loves me no more or no less. I do not have to compete for His love or do anything to gain more or less of it. Some of my friends question this relationship (don’t they all). They constantly ask why I cannot do certain things or if I am in some sort of slave driver situation. They see God as someone who has simply listed do’s and donts. They say all these things but they have never read the Bible and taken time to try and know Him for themselves. I know that by doing things God’s way, I am living my life the best way. How do I know this?
I believe that God created the Earth and all that is in it – including me. Therefore if He created me surely He knows the best way I function and what I was made for. I am tired of seeking opinions and approval of people who do not even have a clue about their own lives. That’s why I love this relationship. I know that because God knows all of me and has seen me at my worst, best and future better – I have nothing to hide or feel insecure about.
I could go on and on about Him but I’m not going to. No matter how much I waffle it is one of those things you have to experience for yourself.
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