My book launch last week was great and far exceeded all the expectations I tried not to have. I have spent a week recalibrating and trying to set a new pace to life post launch. Releasing the book was the first part of my new journey and now that I have put some of my most intimate poems into the world, I have found myself at another junction. I called the book ‘Finding Me’ because I knew that I have not yet fully ‘found’ myself. I probably never will. However a range of experiences in my late teens made me hurt so badly I knew what I did not want to be, the type of people I did not want to be involved with, the kind of ‘experiences’ I never wanted to taste again and a general understanding of what I did not like. The huge contradiction is that by exploring what I did not like, I better understood what, who and how I loved.
Looking back on the past couple of years and making sense of the process has been wonderful. The beauty of retrospect is that you see where you went ‘wrong’. I have used the apostrophes because the bumps and hiccups in the road help to mould and change us. We gain a bit of wisdom if we are willing to learn and in theory should be better human beings because of it. I have heard it said that we learn less from success than we do failure – this depends on the human being. I believe we can learn loads from both if we are willing to.
Anyway while I promote and give talks on ‘Finding Me’, I am working on new material. Finding Me is pretty dark in the first section and I know that I want my next work to look at the joy and fulfilment I have found post my Finding Me revelations. I want the work to inspire and provoke in all the loveliest ways possible. I am so excited about the project that I do not know where to start. It seems that all the good is balled up in the present and I am struggling to separate the feelings, lessons and experiences as I did in my first book. The one thing I do know is that I am not trying to replicate my first work and so that has given me a freedom in terms of content and structure.
Buy the book for only £1.97 here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=finding+me+-+nissi+mutale&x=0&y=0