Women and Baggage

I have just read a very interesting post by Samantha Chioma about women and baggage. (The original blog can be found here: http://samanthachioma.com/2012/03/12/the-older-woman-with-all-that-baggage/#comment-445). Samantha makes the valid point that a women’s experiences are usually described as baggage whereas a man’s experiences are described as….experiences. As a result older women can find it harder to find partners because men are turned off by the amount of “baggage” the woman has. First things first isn’t it amazing how men are cut the slack and there is one standard for males and a completely different standard for females. Do not get me wrong I am all for differences between men and women, in fact I celebrate and am thankful for them. However in this instance it is just not fair…not that life is fair but you know what I mean.

To add my two pence to the discussion I want us to take a couple of minutes to imagine a different world. Imagine a place where we all took responsibility for our actions, where men loved and valued women as their equals, where women respected and catered to men without a need to compete and prove points. Where women were happy to be women and men happy to be men; where differences were not seen as a threat and each person learned from their mistakes, took time to love themselves and were patient and understanding of their fellow human beings. Wouldn’t that world be a dream!

You see the whole issue of baggage and men and women not seeing eye to eye, and the innocence of young women being abused is all reflective of the condition of society. Reflective of all of us as individuals and the way we have allowed ourselves and encouraged others to think. It amuses me that we have even come to accept that women have baggage and mock the bitter woman. Love, Wisdom and Forgiveness are key and as long as we continue to devalue certain golden oldies in the humankind checklist of ways to behave, issues such as “baggage” will persist.

Nissi x

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About Plantain Periodicals

Hello! Welcome to the Plantain Periodicals blogs. The name stems from the kitchen moments I had with my friends at university cooking plantain and planning our lives together. I have used this space as a window into my mind and the way I make sense of all my experiences through writing.This is where I share those conversations and moments that happen inside my head as a young woman growing up in 21st century London. Hopefully you'll be entertained and also learn a thing or two. My main blog ad: www.nissiknows.wordpress.com My literature blog: www.plantainperiodicals.wordpress.com NMx
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8 Responses to Women and Baggage

  1. Errol says:

    Hmmm interesting! I have a matching set of baggage that come in the form of three teenage daughters and rather than weigh me down, my baggage keeps me afloat, light on my feet and constantly laughing and smiling. I don’t see them as much as I’d like to and am in the process of remedying that.

    My baggage helps me to filter potential partners ie if she is interested in my daughters, if she encourages and supports my relationship with them, if she has a good humour and is good natured about them then I am liable to fall in love on the spot!

    However if she is uninterested in ’em, jealous about them, or sees them as baggage!!! Then she can go and jump off the nearest cliff.

    On the other hand I welcome any woman who has ‘baggage’ and I am more than happy to help lighten the load in any way I can

    Love and Peace

  2. Interesting blog….The world you painted would be beautiful for me….but boring to so many. They are always looking for the next thrill when the stability of a strong relationship should be thrilling enough. A world where two people can come together and mirror each other as one.

    Now the word baggage applies to men and women….it has to do with someone that brings old pain to a new potential pleasure. From your experiences who is more likely to do so males or females? The word baggage may be a unfair label for some but it fits others. Its a quick way to express a person’s discomfort for someone’s past experiences. Baggage, player, slut, drama are all label that may fit a person’s past behaviors but may have nothing to do with their future. Am I willing to see what the future holds with people attach to these label? maybe but its a large chance that I would want to settle down with someone that is attached to labels such as honest, caring, optimistic, and trustworthy. Just like they earned those positive label, the others earned their negative ones. A person’s past may effect the future so people need to focus on long-term happiness instead of short-term gratification and they won’t have to worry about negative labeling…. because no one complains about the positive ones!!!!

  3. Susan Michaels says:

    Thank you for sharing Samantha’s blog…So true. Just when we think things might be changing, we run smack into the old double standard. A good reminder to ‘travel light’, to love, forgive, to be understanding and not judge the ‘bitter’ woman whose ‘baggage’ has hurt her…and to choose wisely to grow from our ‘experiences’ into stronger and more beautiful women! Great post, Nissi.

  4. baggage just isn’t appiled to older women…it is applied to all women and even teenagers. I hear people say that all the time..that so and so has too much baggage. I have never really paid attention to whether people do this only to women for I see it in men and women..but you may be right. I think the world would be a beautiful place like you described perhaps that is what heaven is. Sadly people don’t want to deal with the “baggage” ie troubles, drama, emotional issues, games, children, etc..of a person’s life that occurred before they came into the picture. They don’t know what they are missing. Coudl be someone who has grown beyond all of that and is now a beautiful person.

  5. Santiago says:

    Magnificent web site. Plenty of useful info here.

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    And obviously, thanks to your sweat!

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