If somebody were to ask me who I am, my immediate response would be: Nissi Mutale. I would tell them my name because that is the first indicator that would come to mind about my identity. I would take it for granted that they could see with their own eyes that I am a woman. If they pressed on and wanted to know a bit more about me, I would say that I am a Christian, writer, singer, extrovert, publisher and probably last on the list somewhere would I actually state that I am a woman. Why? Because surely with their own eyes they can see I am a woman. But what if they were blind you ask? If they were blind, that would change the description. I would probably state first that I am a woman, my name is Nissi Mutale and then I would go on to list the things that I do that make me who I am.
Why have I given this example? I believe that being a woman is something that is inbred and obvious. Yes there are complexities and ways to be a “better” woman but these qualities are subjective, open to interpretation and change over time. A good woman 50 years ago is distinctly different to being a “good” woman now. Therefore it becomes very dangerous when we decide to instruct people on the best way for them to be.
So back to my original question: How does being a woman affect my experience? I believe that I am enriched by my emotions and soft heart. I am empowered by my ability to take pain and plow on in life despite having a monthly period that grips my abdomen in pain. I love that I am able to influence with words appropriately spoken and refrain from using violence to get my own way. I am excited by my ability to multi task and be many things to people depending on their area of need. But most importantly I am a “wombed” man – I am happy to be able to give life both physically, emotionally and spiritually and not feel like I have to compete with my other half – the man – man. According to God this is who I am. Once I find my identity in God I do not need any other definitions, trends or latest political movement letting me know how I need to behave.
Son in answer to my question: my sex does not affect my experience, God does.
Think about it.