I struggled to come up with the title above. Everything within me wanted to approach the topic of self esteem from the negative angle of insecurity. However after much thought and coming to the conclusion that I would probably roll out the topic ‘Sense of Self’ over a couple of blog posts, I decided to start on a high.
So what is confidence? Is it speaking loudly and getting the attention of everyone in the room? Is it being able to wear absolutely anything and think you look good? Is it being able to take other people’s husbands or boyfriends? Is it being able to go to the cinema alone and not be phased by the empty seat beside you? Is it having Money, Power and Sex? All of the questions I have asked could be seen as depicting somebody who has an element of confidence/ audacity/ bravado, but none of them accurately describe a truly confident person. There are of course many different ways that someone who is confident can behave. Growing up I have always had more of an extrovert personality. I never struggled to speak my mind, talk loudly, mingle with people and generally make people aware I was in the room. Sometimes it was a negative thing, other times it was positive. However I cannot say that my whole life I have been confident. The difference between my confident self and my insecure self was my thinking. I believe that every action has a thought behind it and if the thought is not right, despite the action seeming ok – we deceive ourselves. Similarly if we simply ‘act’ confident but do not love, understand and accept ourselves our behaviour is simply an act. True confidence comes from having an inner love and patience with who we are. It is not dependent on people approval. To put it another way you cannot have ill and poisoned roots but expect a beautiful flower or strong tree to blossom.
Now I am a Christian and I have decided to root my life in God. I believe that God is the only pure, true, unchanging and loving anchor that we will ever have in life. I believe that the only way to really have life is to be rooted in God. I also believe that the only way to achieve everlasting confidence is to be rooted in God. The way the world works now, it would seem that there are loads of other ways to gain approval, appear confident and gain the respect of people. Money, sex and power seem to do the trick most of the time. However I have also noticed that these things have a sell by date. I have too much to live for to allow my confidence to expire.
Think about it. In my book Finding Me I explore confidence. Check out the trailer and get your copy on amazon now: