Pain: Can I ever get over this?

If you read my post yesterday, you will know that I had an emotional weekend. Pain galore. If you have not ready it, you can check it out here. In the post I discuss how I challenged myself to forgive by focusing on God and not the situation. Writing the post I started thinking about how I questioned if I would ever get over the hurt. If you would have asked me on the weekend, I was seriously unsure. However after listening to a sermon on emotional discipline, I started healing and now I am determined to forgive and move on despite my body and feelings telling me no. I have decided not to be led by my emotions because I know they change and are unreliable.

What happens when you are not able to handle the hateful or hurt emotions? What happens when someone has done the unthinkable to you and you literally do not have the strength to move on? I understand that some wrongs it seems like it is literally impossible to move past. In these situations I truly believe it is only God that can step in and perform a miraculous reconciliation. In those circumstances, I go to God and I tell Him “I can’t do this God. I need you to help me. Help me to love this person like you do and focus on your everlasting love instead of my hurt”. I find that what God shows me and how He heals me after this prayer, is truly a miracle.

Whatever it is – you can get past it. With God.

Listen to my prayer journey here.

Nissi x

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Challenging your norm: feelings.

Something happened over the weekend that left me really emotional. I literally felt like a teenager again; completely engrossed and controlled by my emotions. it was terrible! I forced myself to sleep last night knowing that waking up on a monday morning with very little sleep, would only add to my emotional mess. I hate being controlled by my feelings and so I decided to listen to a Joyce Meyer sermon on discipline. Joyce is great at showing me where I am just being silly and where I need to make God my focus again so that I can get my mind right.

So I am on the train this morning with my headphones in, listening to this message about how the devil just celebrates when we are emotionally on edge. Why? Because we lose our peace and start acting in ways contrary to God’s best for us. For example we may become anxious, self pitying, depressed, overwhelmed. All these things that make us feel like our situation is bigger than God. These emotions make us lose sight of the fact that no matter what we are going through, God will use it for good and all we need to do is focus on Him. As I listened to the message my anger softened a little and I started dealing with the issues that caused my upset. Instead of letting myself get carried away in the devil’s frenzy and ruin some of my relationships, I started reaching out in forgiveness and letting God deal with my hurts.. The hurts are still being dealt with but I am so happy I challenged my emotions.

What is your emotional norm and should you be challenging it to?

Listen to my prayer journey here.

Nissi x

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There are levels to this: knowing who to listen to.


Let me start by making it clear that I absolutely believe in receiving constructive criticism. It is so important to be open to what others have to say and be wise and humble enough to know that in ourselves we do not know everything. There is beauty and heightened creativity and inspiration when people come together to share ideas…..

However, I have also found that wonderful,  life changing visions and dreams can absolutely torn apart or stopped if you begin to take advice and guidance from the wrong people. There are some people that pride themselves in persuading people not to do things. Because of their own past failures, insecurities or whatever else, they just love speaking death to people’s ideas. Now how do you know the difference.  Sometimes it is tricky so what I look for is: if each time I talk to you I come away discouraged and unable to take any action I.e. your ‘advice’ always stops me from doing anything….I am out. No more advice from you thanks!

NM x

P.S. My prayer journey podcast is here.

My book on beauty and self – esteem is available here:

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My prayer journey part 1

I have been exploring prayer the past few months. I am convinced that conversations with God never get boring. I am literally so excited and feel so blessed to have experienced Him in this new way. Listen to my thoughts here.

NM x

My book on beauty and self – esteem is available here:

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Confronting the root of confusion and anxiety.

Over the past couple of months I have been on a very exciting journey learning about prayer, fasting and spiritual growth. I set out on the journey because I was aware that I was beginning to get a little lazy and complacent. I was shocked at my attitude to some things and knew I had to take a more active and intentional approach to my spiritual growth. I committed myself to listening to sermons on my way to work, reading my Bible and daily guides and looking for God in all situations. What do i mean by looking for God? I started making a conscious effort to look at the power of God – remind myself that He is all powerful and that in no situation or period in my life should I feel hopeless. During this time of exploration I read a really powerful book. It showed me that we over complicate life. I started to understand that my focus was spread too wide which led me to feel stressed and this stress was leading to a state of defeat. I was starting to feel continually anxious and all because my focus and attention was in the wrong place. My only mission is to build on my relationship with God. To get to a state of absolute trust. after that, everything else falls into place.

Listen to my podcast on my thoughts around this here.

You can break out of feeling anxious and confused.

NM x

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Is there a right time to give up?

Recently I have had an answer to prayer. It was a prayer that I had for several years and at times I doubted myself. I questioned if I could have the patience until the prayer was answered. You see I knew God was going to come through because I had read His Word (The Bible) and I knew it was His will for me to have what I was praying for. The hard part was the waiting and growing in the season I was in until I had the breakthrough.

A question I often asked myself was: is there a good time for me to give up? I tried to talk myself into finding a way to believe that not waiting would be ok. It never worked. I knew that if I was unable to see this course through, I would simply start from scratch in another one until I was transformed and grew in the way God knew I could. I did not want to take a seeming step forward and set myself 1000 steps back. So I waited.

What made the waiting bearable was taking the time to listen to sermons and reading my Bible. I began to experience a change in my heart and mind and was so encouraged by the woman I was becoming that the focus on my ‘issue’ lessened. So if you are at the stage where you are waiting on something, I would encourage you to spend more time with God so that you start to see things the way He does. Then you will not give up. It will be impossible to.

NM x

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It is ok to change…

Let me start this blog by saying I am so thankful for all you faithful readers. You have helped keep me motivated on this blog journey and challenged me to search myself and grow. Thank you! Although I love writing my blog posts I have also found a love for listening to messages – podcasts. I think it is great that you can be on your way somewhere and put in your headphones and listen to a message that challenges, excites or refreshes you in some way. I have been listening to audio messages for some time now and have decided to start my own podcast. I will still be blogging!! Do not fear. This is just a heads up that you will be able to interact with me on another platform: – please do check it out here.

Taking the step to start communicating on another platform has been a challenge but also hugely exciting. At first I thought it would be strange because people are used to my written blog but I have since accepted the growth that is taking place within me. If there is anything you want to do but feel like people will judge you/ view you differently – listen to yourself and do not be put off by change.

NM xx

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