Friends, Foes, Family and Future.

I saw this picture this morning and it got me thinking about the different people in our lives and the effects they have on us. The past few years, I have come to believe that knowing the difference between friends, foes, family and future, is very important. Life takes you on an exciting journey of highs, lows, alright and everything inbetween. We form relationships with people depending on what stage we are in and sometimes, just sometimes God Blesses us with those people who are there through all seasons. Friends for a lifetime. However a lot of the time I have found myself in difficult and painful situations when I have not paid attention to the season I am in and ended up trying to make a seasonal friend a lifetime one.

Now why is knowing this difference so important? Having the wrong people around can mean that they speak into your mind and life in negative ways. You know that friend you were once close with and now you are on different wavelengths. You have a dream and vision for your life going one way but he/she maybe does not even have dreams. You are focused on progressing and building yourself, while he/she cannot seem to imagine life getting any better. All the time you spend with them,they complain. The effect of their negativity is another thing you have to battle against. You need to decide if it is a battle you want to take on.

Sometimes our friends have turned into our foes and we are too busy playing buddy to notice. However if all they do is poision and trample your thoughts and dreams….move on.

Then there’s family. Bless em! These people God has put in our lives to encourage, challenge and love us. We did not get to choose these ones. What I have found is we just have to know our family members. To really take the time to understand where they come from mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Then we have a guide in terms of who we can share what with. Sharing a great thing with a family member who is not in the right mental and emotional space to receive it, could end with a mental trampling and disheartening you could have avoided.

Take the time to know your season and the people in it.

NM x

Reconnecting with self: beyond self doubt

The first time I let my first blog post go live I was petrified about what people would think of me. It was the same thing when I posted my first youtube video or did my first poetry performance. I had this deep set belief that I was in some way not good enough.  After much soul searching, Bible reading, chats with friends and family I put the feeling down to insecurities I had not yet addressed. It was hard to accept that I was suffering from insecurity because I am usually so confident. However the fear I felt about how people would react to my work made me face the fact that maybe I was not as confident as I thought.

Now in line with the blog series I have been writing about ‘reconnecting with self’ I thought it would be great to reflect on how I got from lost to love. How I managed to pull myself out of a state of constant fear of judgment and stopping myself from doing things I was passionate about doing simply because somebody might say something that would hurt my feelings. I have since learned that part of being at peace with yourself is loving and being comfortable with who you are. Without this love it is very hard to fearlessly be you and live in passionate pursuit of your divine destiny.

So let’s look at society for a second – media has taken it upon itself to make us envy the stars. The magazines will post pictures of celebrities with cellulite and stretch marks and ridicule what we all know is natural. We all know that the pictures where people seem without blemish are photo shopped yet we all still beat ourselves up for not looking like that picture of so and so that has been passed through so many computer programs that the celeb themselves probably would have no idea it was them if their face did not have a vague resemblance of their own and their name above it. Nevertheless we go around with feelings of dissatisfaction and refuse to believe that we are perfect because….no-one is perfect right??

Wrong. You are perfect, I am perfect, we are all perfect. Wearing a dissatisfaction of yourself just to fit in with what everyone else does is one of the most shallow and pitiful things you can do. Why? Because thinking like the majority you will never go further than the majority. Those who achieve and live their dreams are those who believe they can. By all means have an off day  everyone can and does feel fat, ugly, stupid, lonely or whatever it might be once in a while but do not let it be your badge for life. I mean think about it, how does it help you to think less of yourself? How does it help you to try to be like a picture in a magazine? How does it help you to try to be anything but the unique person you were created to be?

Read more here

NM x

Stress no more! Here on borrowed time.

Happy Birthday to meeee! Today I gained another year. I thank God for blessing me thus far. Every year I always reflect and think about how far I’ve come, what I am yet to achieve and what I can do better. However those who know me also know I can be really hard on myself. In line with the last post about ‘reconnecting with self’ I thought I would use this post to talk about how I have had to condition my mind to be less judgmental.

Now do not get me wrong, having high standards is great. We should always be looking for ways to better ourselves and step outside of our comfort zones. However this self analysis can sometimes take a negative turn and have us talking down to ourselves. We can begin to belittle our achievements, focus on what we do not have instead of appreciating what we do have and generally putting ourselves under unnecessary pressure. We need to learn to be kinder to ourselves.

From when I turned 22 I did not look on gaining another year as exciting. I started looking at all I said I would have done by a certain age and moaning about all that had not be done. I then had the very wise words from someone I love and trust. He reminded me that I am here on borrowed time. I have divine purpose – something God put me specifically on this earth to do. Also as a follower and believer in Jesus Christ my daily aim is to be more and more like Him. When I look at my goals and personal ambitions in light of my purpose in God, my perspective is completely changed. I am less self centered and think more about how I can serve. Instead of thinking me, my, I think how can I do more for You Lord.

So what am I saying? The key to stress is being consumed by ourselves. Once we take our eyes off ourselves and focus on God we find peace with ourselves and others. I feel so blessed to be alive because I know at my best in God, I can be my best for myself and others.

NMx

New place, Fresh mind, Letting go.

Morning beautiful people! Today I woke up to the amazing view. Having arrived at the Spanish villa some church friends and I had booked a few months ago, I was more than amazed to discover we had the most fabulous villa ever. Ok so maybe I am exaggerating but it is certainly amazing. Amazing view, amazing interior and not to forget the amazing people living there this week Anyway gushing aside, the new environment and picturesque views had me feeling energised. I mean really revitalised. Immediately I then thought I need to post something for my blog family. My last post I said I would talk about ‘reconnecting with self’.

I have found that one of the most important things to do when feeling disconnected from yourself is to make it a point to get back to wholeness. Now for different people the way they do this differs. However I think a universal step taken to get back to the path of wholeness is to remove yourself temporarily from familiar environments. Go away from the place that has been the home to your confusion. Get away to clear your mind, clear your attitude, release the tension and stress and most importantly to get some peace and quiet. When you are uptight and your brain is muddled, body full of tension, it is hard to get to the heart of your problems. Going away doesn’t mean splashing cash on a 5 star holiday. You could go for a long walk, visit another city, book a short getaway. Do something you will enjoy and just enjoy it. It is amazing how your mind sees situations differently.

Be easy on yourself.

Nissi x

Easter, New Life and all things both old and new.

This gallery contains 20 photos.

Christian or not I am sure you are aware it is Easter. As a Christian it is a time of remembering the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Essentially a time of new life, forgiveness, unconditional love and a time … Continue reading →

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The importance of saying what you mean

Over the past couple of weeks I have edited quite a few manuscripts. It is a rewarding, challenging, boring and yet exciting process. When the parts of the book are noty written as well as they can be, it is a chore to get to grips with what the writer is trying to say. When the sentences flow and each word is in perfect place, the meaning shines through. These well written parts drive me forward. I am so enlightened and encouraged by the words that it seems almost a crime to stop reading. The process of editing made me think about the way we communicate. Writing at its best is a refined edition of our thoughts and gives others a window into our mind. At its worst it’s a poor version of our spoken word and drives the reader into a state of confusion and frustration. So why am I thinking about the way I speak when I am editing? Because I am notoriously bad at saying what I mean.

I usually say what I feel. As you know feelings are fleeting and are not the best reference for expressing what you mean. Feelings do not usually get to the root of the problem. Feelings are great for giving perspective and adding a ‘humanliness’ to whatever we are trying to express. However I have learned the hard way that if you are going to say what you feel, make it known that they are your feelings. I am in the very bad habit of stating my feelings as fact. A wild goose chase shortly follows to try to establish what my problem really is. Part of that I feel is related to my over dramatic ways. The world literally is my stage but I am learning that not everything warrants a monologue. I am learning that the best way to speak is to think first. Clever huh! But I really do mean think. I am in the process of taking the same approach to my speech as I do with my edits. I am learning to ask myself – is what I am about to say necessary? Am I saying what I mean? Even if I am saying what I mean – is it necessary?

It is important to be careful with our words because words are powerful. In the beginning was the Word. God created the world by His Word. You do not have to be a Christian to know that words have life. To express yourself in written and spoken word literally changes your world. We now have to decide if we are going to make a conscious decision to change the world for better or for worse.

It’s your decision.

Nissi x

The girl effect: protecting young girls and building better futures

Last night I had just finished editing a book and was feeling very tired and a bit all read out. To give my mind a bit of a rest I started running a bath and browsed Facebook (nothing like a bit of a nosy into other people’s lives). Now I am glad to say that I have quite sensible Facebook friends who continually post really inspiring and uplifting posts that cheer me up, challenge me or get me thinking. Last night was no different. I came across this really powerful video called ‘The girl effect’. I have posted it below so I will not say too much. But let me challenge you with this…how often do you think about how you can change the world just one person at a time?? Watch the video and I will be back with my thoughts tomorrow.

Nissi.